DIRECTIONS

IF TAKING TAXI

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Ask how much is it to 2nd street and 5th Avenue (cuanto cuesta para Calle dos con Avenida cinco?)
If he asks where you are going just repeat the address because he's going to try and take you somewhere else.
If he says anything more than 8 dollars, look pissed, close the door and see if he settles on the 'right' price.
Do not get in the cab until you have settled the price. Do not tip him, unless the A/C is on, the car doesn't stink and he takes you to the address.
You will know you have arrived because there is a convenient store (modern) on the corner called "OXXO".
Get out of the taxi and look down 5th (it's the walking street, since you are on a corner, you have four choices, it's the only one without cars)
If it's after 10:45 in the morning, you will see a bunch of trinket stores, a bank and US (Three tan, canvas umbrellas over green tables in front of our bar).

Locate the ferry pier (hint, it's on the ocean...in front of Palmeras restaurant, otherwise known as 'the Denny's of Cozumel')
Walk East, away from the ferry pier through the main square (it's full of trees, grass and a bunch of jewelry stores)
You will walk exactly one block and the 7-11 will be on the corner (up left, or North-east depending on your preference)
Turn Left (North) before you pass the 7-11. You are now on 5th.
Walk straight down 5th past even more souvenir stores until you see us on your left near the end of that block.

*VERY IMPORTANT* Do not ask locals for directions to us. In that neighborhood, they all know who we are but will misdirect you at worst or pretend not to know, at best. Generally people here will only send you to a bar where they get a commission... we don't pay commissions. Either way, it's a waste of time.

Find a seat at the bar and ask me to make you a chocolate peanut butter margarita!...and I will.
Proceed South towards the bar and annoy me by asking for a dollar corona.
Drink heavily

Tell us when you're coming and we'll set up your visit!